Stupidly Dangerous
by katierosefun
Summary: Five times Ahsoka Tano and Anakin Skywalker saved each other from stupidly dangerous situations (and the one time they saved each other in a stupid dangerous situation that might have potentially changed the trajectory of the universe).
1. wear a seatbelt, kids

**i. ****wear a seatbelt, kids **

"Please tell me you know where you're going."

Anakin bore his eyes into the speeder ahead of him and didn't answer, which was how Ahsoka knew her master was in trouble. She sank a little deeper into her seat, tugging at a stray string from the machine-woven material. When she got into the speeder with Anakin, she had overheard Master Kenobi warning about "no spinning, no dangerous tricks, and please, Anakin, make sure you're flying in the right direction of traffic" because "you don't want any more head injuries".

Ahsoka had pretended not to hear the conversation, mostly because Anakin's jaws were locked a little too tightly for her to make a light joke, but now she wondered if she should have gotten her own speeder instead.

"I know where I'm going."

Ahsoka cast a sidelong look at Anakin, but he didn't look back at her, which was how Ahsoka knew her master was lying. She shifted her eyes back to the front of the speeder. The vehicle coughed gas and sputtered, making other drivers turn and glare at the driver of the faulty machine. The driver, however, did not budge from his seat. Ahsoka wondered if the driver, too, was lying to himself about something so notably obvious.

"Are you sure?"

Ahsoka's question lingered in the small sliver of space between herself and her master before evaporating into the inevitable silence of an unanswerable question. The soft rip-rip-rip of Anakin's leathered gloves joined the silence, and Ahsoka turned her gaze now to the speeders driving past them. They all looked tired or a little too-awake; they all wore either work jumpers for the new day or glittering outfits from the old night.

And Ahsoka and Anakin—existing in both worlds of the new day and the old night, wearing the same clothes as not yesterday, but the day before yesterday because they had just come back from a mission before being assigned another one. A small one, the Jedi Council had said, a small one tracking down a weapons dealer in one of the slum sectors of Coruscant.

"I'm sure now."

Only a second passed before Ahsoka's stomach dropped with the speeder, plunging down, down, down into the deeper, darker, grimier, grittier levels of Coruscant. The wind whistled past; speeders shouted in alarm. Something wet touched Ahsoka's cheek—someone's spit, maybe a drop of water from a rusted machine part. The wetness dried almost instantaneously as Anakin dove faster, faster, faster—the cry of surprise lodging itself deeper, deeper, deeper into Ahsoka's throat.

"He was in front of us the whole time!"

Anakin's voice reached Ahsoka's hearing, but she didn't see his mouth form the words. His lips had only just parted—just enough so that he wouldn't swallow and choke on the smoky air reaching its tendrils to envelop them. Ahsoka gripped the side of the speeder, wishing again she had just gotten her own speeder.

The speeder in front of them knew Anakin and Ahsoka was on his heels now—the driver turned back for a fraction of a second, widened his eyes, took a sudden turn, which of course meant that Anakin had to take a sudden turn, too, which of course meant that the speeder jerked Ahsoka hard enough into the side of the speeder for her to open her mouth and finally scream,

"_Master!_"

"_What?_" Anakin hollered back over the din of the speed and light of their race.

"_You need to cut him off!_" Ahsoka shouted, hoping—and then knowing, because the wind was blocking all sound—that the weapons dealer couldn't hear her. "_You can't chase him in this thing!_"

"_His speeder's broken! We can_—"

Ahsoka turned back to the speeder ahead of them a moment before Anakin did, which looking back, she knew was one of the only reasons she knew to scream, "Look out!"

The speeder's guttural coughs and sputters weren't the signs of a dying vehicle—only a waking vehicle because Ahsoka caught a glimpse of the brightening jets and the flames before the driver sneered at her.

The flames flickered, expanded, roared—and suddenly, Anakin's speeder was _really _diving down now, because Ahsoka's stomach was lost in gravity, floating somewhere between her throat and a space outside of her body.

"Mas—" She reached blindly for Anakin's arm, trying to get him to start the speeder again—only to come to empty air. She stared, horrified, at the space where he used to be and then looked down, her heart stopping as she watched her master's numbed body diving past the other speeders, past the weapons dealer.

Ahsoka _really _wished she had gotten her own speeder.

She dove for the controls, the seat belt groaning against her weight as she strained and pushed against the only thing keeping her from falling after her master. She yanked at the controls—steady, now, steady!—and the speeder leveled itself just enough for Ahsoka to slip out of her seat and jump fully onto her master's side.

And—seatbelts first—she dove after Anakin.

"Hang on!" she screamed over the wind, but she wasn't sure—no, she knew—her master probably couldn't hear her. She passed the other speeders—passed the weapons dealer, who undoubtedly was still sneering after her, and flattened the pedal until all she could see were dots of light and flashes of metal flying past.

Somehow, amidst the dots and flashes, Ahsoka caught him—his body armor glinting amongst the other speeders like a beacon.

"No dangerous tricks," Ahsoka muttered under her breath, and floored the pedal as she swerved around other speeders—someone swore at her—and swept down right underneath her master. She only just remembered to call on the Force to soften Anakin's fall so he wouldn't crush his body against the speeder's seats at who knew what speed.

"Master!" Ahsoka shouted, even though she knew the volume wasn't necessary—not now, when the speeder was in full-stop. She ignored the increased swearing in her direction as drivers moved around her.

A small groan answered Ahsoka, and then a weak, "Don't tell Obi-Wan" which was how Ahsoka knew Anakin was fine.

"Wear your seatbelt next time," was all Ahsoka could say before she drove the speeder back into the lanes. "And give me a warning next time before you do some dumb trick."

"No promises," Anakin replied, which was how Ahsoka knew it was safe to glare at her master.

* * *

**A/N: **So I guess I'm back for the summer...? I've gotten this entire story completed (oh, look, Caroline's actually planning for once? Yeah, kids, I'm trying Responsibility(tm) out for a spin), but I'll be releasing chapters on a weekly basis. As always, comments are appreciated, flames are not!


	2. check the ingredients list, kids

**ii. ****check the ingredients list, kids**

"Remind me why I have to wear this?" Ahsoka hissed, hiking up her skirt.

"Because Padmé would be furious if you didn't," Anakin replied, tugging at the sleeve of his coat. "And she'd never let me—us—hear the end of it."

Ahsoka gritted her teeth, yanking the heavy skirts back up to her shins. A part of her had been thrilled when Senator Amidala had formerly invited Master Skywalker and herself at some formal Senate gala. "Just a simple fundraising effort," the senator had assured, placing a gentle, non-calloused hand on Ahsoka's shoulder. "Much less dangerous than shooting droids or blowing up a weapons factory." That last bit had both Anakin and Ahsoka exchange disgruntled, knowing looks.

But now, hands clenched with some too-soft-yet-too-heavy material of skirt, Ahsoka remembered the senator had some dealings with the weapons factory, too. Her master had explained the intel about the Geonosian plans had been secured by Senator Amidala—Ahsoka couldn't figure out more from him about the details of the mission, but Master Kenobi explained there was some undercover work that had to be done.

Looking at Senator Amidala now, who was greeting incoming senators with a warm smile and handshake, Ahsoka couldn't help but wonder how the woman was able to juggle such dangerous missions under the thin veneer of prim senate-hood.

Well, Ahsoka reasoned as she re-adjusted her grip on her skirts, if Senator Amidala could blast down tinnies and still be home in time to deliver a speech, then she sure as hell could last a few hours tonight wearing this infuriating dress.

"Hanging in there?" Anakin asked, quieter. When Ahsoka looked up at him, she found his face wasn't quite as lined with the stress of being here. He must have felt bad—at least Anakin was only wearing a simple suit, nothing at all like the bunches of red skirt Ahsoka had to keep tugging up to keep from tripping.

"I'll be fine," Ahsoka lied. "Just one night. And you're right—Padmé wouldn't let you hear the end of it if I didn't wear this."

Anakin smiled—more like a smirk, really, for how smug it looked—and turning back to the whole of the room, he added out of the corner of his mouth just so Ahsoka could hear, "At least the food will be good."

"At least," Ahsoka replied, stifling her own pleased smile just as Senator Amidala started walking towards them.

"So glad you two could make it," the senator said, giving both Anakin and Ahsoka a warm smile.

"Anything for you, Senator," Anakin said, bowing his head only a fraction of an inch. Ahsoka caught the light smile that flit both across the senator and her master's lips—that was right, she remembered the senator mentioning Anakin and she went a long ways back. Looking at those smiles, Ahsoka wondered exactly _how _long back.

"We're about to start the gala," the senator said, gesturing to the grand room. Small round tables dotted the entirety of the space, each holding a few chairs and dining sets. Sure enough, droids were already standing at the ready by each table, filling glasses with bubbly liquid. The soft grumbling in Ahsoka's stomach drew her to the smell of food only now wafting in the air.

"You two will be sitting with me, as my guests," Senator Amidala said, walking towards one of the closer tables.

"And you'll be delivering a speech?" Anakin asked, nodding to the small podium at the front of the room.

"I'll be one of a few," the senator responded. "Bail's going to be giving the first one—I'm going after him." She patted the table, only pausing when Anakin insisted on pulling out her seat. Again, Ahsoka noted the strange exchange of smiles between the two, as though they knew some kind of joke she didn't.

As if on cue, more senators made their way to their seats until only the soft din of small talk and droids circulating to deliver food sounded through the room.

"I hope you enjoy the meal," Senator Amidala said, winking at Ahsoka as a droid set down their plates. "I've heard Temple food isn't always, ah…" She turned to Anakin, who only gave an emphatic nod.

"It's not like this, that's for sure," Ahsoka said, looking down at her plate. Some leg of meat, glazed over in a shiny, orange sauce, a neat pyramid of some snow-white grains, slices of a fruit with pink flesh and a yellow rind. Ahsoka looked back up at the senator and her master, her smile widening. "Definitely not."

The senator smiled back, and for maybe the first time that night, Ahsoka felt genuinely happy to be here.

"Well, you don't need my permission—dig in," the senator said, picking up the silverware.

Ahsoka mirrored the senator's motions. She took her first few bites of the meat, savoring in the slight firmness of the glazed crust before sinking into the tender, richer meat itself. Temple food or ration packs couldn't hold a candle to this kind of food.

She made quick work with the rest of the meat, alternating between that and the pyramid of grain, which was delightfully soft and also somewhat chewy at the same time. Ahsoka tried mixing the grain with the rest of the orange sauce and proceeded to do so until the small pyramid was a small scattering of rejected white bits.

"Try the fruit, it's good," the senator said, nodding at the pink slices. "They come from one of the water worlds."

"Really?" Ahsoka looked down at the fruit. She couldn't imagine seeing this kind of fruit in one of the blue-green planets—then again, she hadn't had food from the water worlds, either.

"Anakin's not a fan," Senator Amidala continued, to which Anakin gave a small sound of protest.

"It's too sour," Anakin said, shaking his head. "Fruit's not supposed to be _sour_."

"Ignore him," Senator Amidala said, again nodding at Ahsoka. "You might like it."

Ahsoka shrugged. "I don't have anything against sour," she said, and lifted the slice of fruit to her mouth. Her master was right—the fruit _was _a bit sour, but she found the slight numbing on her tongue almost pleasant.

At Senator Amidala and Anakin's expectant looks, Ahsoka shrugged again. "It's not bad," she said, biting down on another slice. "It's almost like—" Her throat suddenly caught, and Ahsoka paused, placing a hand on her neck. It came away warm—a little too warm, but then again, the room itself was rather warm.

"Like…?" Anakin asked, eyeing her warily.

Ahsoka tried to speak, but her voice couldn't work. The numbing—once pleasant and gentle—now intensified, leaving Ahsoka's tongue limp. There was something else, too, though Ahsoka couldn't detect what it was. The room was getting warmer now, and she might have been imagining things, but the room seemed to be growing darker. Were the lights going down? Senator Organa must be heading up to make his speech now…

Ahsoka suddenly heard a loud clattering and a sharp, "_Ahsoka!_" before she was slid out of her chair.

She could only barely make out Senator Amidala's face hovering above her own, feel cool fingers on her arms as she dimly heard her master shouting, "I need a medic droid! Now!" There was some odd rumbling in the background, and then Anakin shouting, "What do you _mean_, no medic droid? Who—"

Someone said something else—Ahsoka couldn't hear what that person said, but then she heard her master shout something about a speeder, something about time, and then Senator Amidala's face was too blurry for Ahsoka to tell whether she should be worried or not.

And then, just as Senator Amidala's face started to darken, too, Ahsoka felt something sharp press her into her arm. For a second, the sharpness slid under Ahsoka's senses, like the numbness had, and she couldn't feel anything. And then another second passed, and Ahsoka felt everything at once.

She gasped, her lungs, chest, throat coming back to life; she blinked, her sight clearing away all the blurriness and darkness until she just saw Senator Amidala and Anakin's faces hovering above her. There were other people crowded around, too, senators in fancy dresses and suits, a few serving droids, but Ahsoka found Anakin's eyes first—pale blue, paler than Ahsoka's own eyes, familiar enough for Ahsoka to recognize.

"Welcome back to life, Snips," Anakin said, a small, short laugh punctuating the silence. "How does it feel?"

"Better," Ahsoka managed to say, trying to sit up. A pair of gentle hands—Senator Amidala—pushed her up slowly until Ahsoka was at least somewhat upright. "What _was _that?"

"You were been allergic to something in the food," Senator Amidala said, her voice soft. "We're thinking it might have been the fruit, but it's still a little too early to tell."

"Allergic?" Ahsoka blinked. "I didn't know—"

"You couldn't have known," Anakin said, lifting a small syringe. "But lucky for you, enough of us figured it out."

"Anakin acted quickly," Senator Amidala said, squeezing Ahsoka's shoulders. "We thought if something went wrong—" The end of her voice wobbled for a moment, and Ahsoka quickly placed a hand on the senator's arm in reassurance.

"A close call, then," Ahsoka said, looking back to Anakin. A corner of her lips twitched into a smile. "That's not new for us, right?"

Anakin smiled back, but Ahsoka could tell from the tightness of his face that he only did so out of force. "Right." He clapped a hand on Ahsoka's shoulder. "Let's just not cut it that close from now on."

As Senator Amidala and Anakin helped Ahsoka to her feet, she could only say, "At least we made the gala interesting", which at least made everyone else laugh, which was enough for now.

* * *

**A/N: **So, I told myself I would update this on Fridays, but then Friday came and went, and I totally forgot to update this story until literally two minutes ago, so here we are. As always, comments are appreciated! (Help a Tired(tm) writer out.)


	3. don't poke the wasp nest, kids

**iii. ****don't poke the wasp nest, kids **

"Them."

Ahsoka slowly lifted her head in the direction her master was pointing. Sure enough, an array of large nests hung above her. A few lazy bugs flitted in and outside of the nest, but the distant humming told Ahsoka it wouldn't be long before the rest of the hive would fully wake. One bug crawled in and out of the holes of a nest, carrying with it something large and still squirming. Ahsoka cringed.

"I hate this planet," she muttered, forcing her eyes away.

"Could be worse," Anakin replied, though Ahsoka noticed he, too, kept his hand on his light saber hilt. "We could have walked into a gundark cave."

Ahsoka snorted. "You mean like how you and Master Kenobi did?"

"That doesn't count," came Anakin's quick response.

"Sure," Ahsoka said, casting another look up at the nests above her. A few more bugs flew out, probably ready for the day's forage or hunt or whatever it was these critters did. Ahsoka cringed again at the memory of one of the bugs carrying some still-living creature. 'Critters' did not feel like the appropriate word to describe whatever the hell _those _things were.

"How much farther do we need to go again?" Ahsoka couldn't keep the question in, not as a bug swept over her head.

"Just a few more kilometers," Anakin replied, his voice just as hushed as Ahsoka's. She couldn't even hear his footsteps behind her. "Hopefully, there won't be any nests in this direction."

Ahsoka tilted her head up again, swallowing hard. The deeper into this planet they walked, the more nasty things seemed to come their way. If anything, Ahsoka was pretty sure there were more nests than there were before. "I hate this planet," she repeated, trying to keep her gaze on the path in front of her. Winding vines, gnarled roots, jagged rocks cropped up almost every other step, and Ahsoka had to keep herself from falling multiple times so she wouldn't cut herself open anywhere.

"Could be worse," Anakin repeated, but he didn't offer any alternatives. This time, Ahsoka heard a branch snap under his boots.

"Careful," Ahsoka whispered. "You don't want to wake any more of them."

"They're already going to wake up," Anakin replied, but Ahsoka didn't hear any more snapping twigs after that. "There won't be any nests in this direction."

"You said 'hopefully' before."

"What?"

Ahsoka turned around to her master. Sweat dripped down the side of his slightly reddened face. Although Anakin had been quiet, Ahsoka knew her master hated the dim, humid jungle of a planet just as much as she did. A bug lazily circled the space above Anakin's head, causing Ahsoka's hand to instinctively crawl towards her light saber hilts. "You said there 'hopefully' won't be any nests," Ahsoka said, trying to keep her voice level as more bugs circled around the top of her master's head.

"Oh." Anakin paused. "Well, I'm trying for optimism."

"That's new," Ahsoka said, flicking her eyes above Anakin's head.

Her master caught on. "Is there something else that's…new?" he asked, starting to tilt his head upwards, but Ahsoka lifted a hand.

"Don't," she hissed, gripping her light saber hilt with the other hand.

"How many?" Anakin asked instead, lowering his head.

"A few. Maybe four now?" Ahsoka whispered, her heart dropping as another bug joined the crowd. "Maybe five."

Anakin slowly unhooked his light saber from his belt. "Up?" he asked.

Ahsoka nodded, eyes widening as her master rotated the saber hilt around his wrist. "Do you think that's a—"

"We don't know how these creatures are going to act," Anakin interrupted. "Just be ready to run." Ahsoka pressed her lips together and gave a tight nod.

"And…" Anakin locked his eyes on Ahsoka's for the briefest of moments before shouting, "_Now!_"

Ahsoka darted around just as she heard her master's saber slice through something—several somethings—and then, she heard something large drop to the ground. The jungle suddenly came to life with loud, angry humming and buzzing, and Ahsoka looked back just in time to see her master being enveloped by a crowd of angry bugs. Ahsoka could only just barely make out her master's blue saber cutting across the swarm, but Ahsoka knew it couldn't have been enough—not with that swarm, not with that amount of bugs which just launched itself out of the now-empty nest rocking on the ground.

And then, slowly, the swarm grew too thick until even Anakin's blue saber flickered out of Ahsoka's eyes.

_Why did he do that? _Ahsoka thought exasperatedly and activated both of her sabers. Without a second thought, she dove into the mess. Almost instantly, she felt stings peppering her back, her shoulders as the bugs came across a new enemy. But Ahsoka didn't stop moving her arms, didn't stop moving her sabers until her feet brought her into the heart of the bug storm. Right to her master.

"Ahsoka?"

Anakin looked horrible. Half his face was swollen and red, the back of his neck not faring much better. Judging by the pain racing through Ahsoka's veins, she doubted she looked that much better. She couldn't say anything out of fear that a bug might actually fly into her mouth, but she only grabbed her master and with one saber still activated, started to cut through the swarm.

The angry buzzing filled the air, and Ahsoka felt another sharp sting at her back, but she needed to get both her master and herself out of there—out, out, out, away from the bugs and their stinging and the nests.

Ahsoka heard the familiar buzz of her master's light saber behind her, and relief flooded her system. _Good_, Anakin still had the sense to fight off the bugs from behind. Ahsoka narrowed her eyes through the swarm, and for a second, she thought she saw a light, or some small parting in the otherwise thick mass of bugs.

Her grip on Anakin's wrist started to slacken, and alarm shooting through Ahsoka's chest, she realized the stinging was finally starting to get to her. The sudden quiet from Anakin's end told her that the stinging had probably finally started to overpower her master, too.

Ahsoka gritted her teeth, using the last bit of her strength to strengthen her grip on both saber and master. There—her eyes hadn't been lying to her. There _was _a small chink in the armor of the otherwise seemingly relentless swarm of bugs and wings and stingers.

Ahsoka jerked Anakin's arm, hoping he knew what that small signal meant. She couldn't even look back to see if Anakin was actually awake enough to follow her, so she only hoped he was. Eyes narrowed in concentration, teeth gnawing down at the inside of her cheek, muscles taut, Ahsoka dove forward.

She heard a sharp cry of surprise behind her—Anakin—and then Ahsoka felt one last sting on her arm before she hit the dirt.

And then, blessed silence.

No more buzzing. No more stinging.

Just a soft, low groan from Ahsoka's side.

"Next time, Master," Ahsoka managed to say as she rolled over on her back, "don't poke the bugs' nest."

Anakin's half-hearted grunt in agreement was all Ahsoka needed.

* * *

**A/N: **As always, comments/constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated! I have this fic cross-posted on Archive of Our Own ('cause ya girl had to jump on the train), and since I have more interaction there, I might just continue updating the story only on that site should I get the sense not a lot of people of here are as invested in the story. But if you would like to keep seeing it here, please let me know via comments!


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